Typically I would refrain from bathroom humor, but in this case I think that I’ll have to suspend my usual sensibilities.
Yesterday evening there was a meeting of a group I’m interested in promoting (I won’t mention their name do the nature of this post). I was going to pick up someone that wanted to learn more about the organization, but I didn’t know exactly where his house was. I had the address and a general notion of the area, still I found myself driving back and forth looking for a particular cross street.
About this time I began to feel that rumbling, grumbling, pressure in my lower abdomen that indicates a bodies need to release some gas. I know you’ve all been there! Soon I let loose with what turned out to be one of the raunchiest farts I’ve experienced in recent memory! My eyes were watering when I saw the street I was looking for. It hadn’t been 30 seconds since my foul flatulence had been unleashed on the interior of my vehicle!
I was a little concerned when I turned the corner, but thought I might drive around a little to stall for time, maybe drag my feet a bit while I was walking up to his door. By this time I even had the beginning’s of a plan to have a nice little conversation at his doorstep.
Just then he stepped out of the shadows to the curb. He saw me! I became panicky as I realized I couldn’t keep driving, I couldn’t drag my feet, I couldn’t have a long conversation. Worse still he was walking around to the passenger door as I frantically tried to roll down the window, turn on the A/C, fan my hand, and blow outside. It was futile, he had opened the door and was stepping into the car. I’m sure I had a pitiful look on my face as I shook his hand and asked him how he was doing. I could smell his cologne as he sat down and had a fleeting hope that it would cover the odor. I could see by his expression it didn’t.
Neither of us "aired" the subject, but it was a definitely long ride to the meeting.